Better Questions to Ask When You Meet Someone New

Most networking conversations start the same way. "What do you do?" "How long have you been doing it?" "How's business?" Those questions are fine, but they rarely lead anywhere interesting. The answers are rehearsed, and both people move on without learning much.

Better questions lead to better conversations, and better conversations lead to real relationships. Here are some questions that tend to open people up, along with why they work.

Questions that get past the elevator pitch

These help you understand the person, not just the business card.

• "How did you end up in this line of work?" Almost everyone has a story. It is usually more interesting than their pitch and tells you what they care about.
• "What do you enjoy most about it?" People light up when they talk about the part of their job they love.
• "What does a typical week look like for you?" This shows you how their business actually runs.

Questions that reveal who they help

These are the questions that turn a conversation into a referral opportunity.

• "Who is your ideal customer?" Listen for specifics: a type of person, a neighborhood, a business size, a life event.
• "What is a job you wish you got more of?" Many business owners have a type of work they love and rarely get. That is a great thing to know.
• "What kind of customer is not a good fit?" Knowing who to avoid sending is as useful as knowing who to send.

Questions that uncover trigger moments

A trigger moment is what happens right before someone needs a service. If you know the trigger, you can recognize the opportunity when you hear it.

• "What usually happens right before someone calls you?" A roof leak during a storm, a new baby, a home sale, a first employee.
• "What do people say when they first reach out?" The actual words customers use are the words you will hear from friends and clients.
• "Who do your customers usually talk to before they find you?" This shows where referrals naturally come from.

In August in the West Valley, a lot of trigger moments are tied to the season. A monsoon storm can lead to calls for roofers, tree services, restoration companies and pool cleaners. Back-to-school season can affect tutors, family photographers, dentists and insurance agents. Asking about seasonal patterns helps you know what to listen for this month.

Questions that show you want to help

These take the conversation from "getting to know you" to "how can I help."

• "How would I know if someone I meet is a good referral for you?"
• "What is the best way to introduce you?"
• "Is there anyone you are trying to meet right now?"

That last question is especially useful. Sometimes the most valuable thing you can offer is not a customer but a connection to a supplier, a partner or another professional.

How to ask without it feeling like an interview

Good questions can still feel awkward if they come in a rapid-fire list. A few tips:

• Ask one, then really listen. Follow up on what they say instead of jumping to the next question.
• Share a bit about yourself too. Conversations should feel balanced.
• Use their answers. Repeat back a detail. "So a homeowner who just had a water heater fail is perfect for you?"
• Take notes afterward. Jot down one or two things you learned so you remember them next time.

End the conversation with a next step

Before you part ways, look for one small next step:

• Connect on LinkedIn or swap numbers
• Schedule a longer one-to-one
• Offer an introduction to someone they mentioned wanting to meet

Then follow through. A great conversation is only the beginning.

Practice this week

Pick two or three questions from this list and use them the next time you meet someone new. Notice how the conversation changes. Most people are not asked good questions very often, and they remember the person who asked.

Want a room full of people to practice with? BNI A1 Networkers meets every Thursday at 7:00 AM at Brothers Family Restaurant in Peoria. Plan your visit.