The Referral Ask: Be Specific, Be Brief, Be Memorable

In a networking meeting, you often have less than a minute to tell a room full of people how they can help you. What you say in that time can be the difference between walking out with a referral and walking out with nothing but a full coffee cup.

The best referral asks have three things in common. They are specific, they are brief and they are memorable. Here is how to build yours.

Be specific

"Anyone who needs my services" feels like the safest ask, because it does not leave anyone out. But it leaves everyone out, because nobody can picture "anyone."

Specific asks help people search their memory. Compare these:

• "I help businesses with their marketing."
• "I am looking for restaurant owners in Peoria who opened in the last year and are not getting much traffic on weeknights."

The second one gives the room something to work with. People can think of a real restaurant, a real owner and a real conversation.

To get specific, narrow down at least one of these:

• Who the customer is (type of person, business or role)
• Where they are (neighborhood, city, community)
• When they need you (a life event, season or trigger)
• What problem they are dealing with

You do not have to narrow all four. Even one makes a big difference.

Be brief

A long ask is hard to follow and even harder to repeat. If your fellow members cannot sum up what you want in a sentence, they probably will not pass it along.

A few ways to keep it tight:

• Lead with the ask. Do not save the important part for the end.
• Cut the background. You do not need to explain your whole business every week.
• Use plain language. Skip the jargon and acronyms that only people in your industry understand.
• Practice out loud. If you run out of breath, it is too long.

A good test is whether someone could repeat your ask to a friend in a parking lot. If they can, it is short enough.

Be memorable

People hear a lot of asks in one meeting. To stand out, give them something to hang onto:

• A trigger phrase. Tell people what they might hear that signals someone needs you. "If someone says their electric bill doubled this summer, think of me."
• A quick story. One sentence about a customer you helped is more memorable than a list of services.
• A consistent tagline. Ending each week with the same short line helps people connect it to you.
• A visual. A prop, a photo or a sample can make an ask stick.

Humor can help too, as long as the ask is still clear underneath it.

Put it all together

Here is a simple template:

"This week I am looking for [specific who] who [situation or trigger]. If you hear someone say [trigger phrase], please connect them with me."

For example: "This week I am looking for families in Glendale who are getting ready to sell their home this fall. If you hear someone say they are thinking about listing, ask if they have had the carpets cleaned, and pass along my card."

It is specific, it fits in one breath and it gives people a phrase to listen for.

Rotate and refine

You do not need the perfect ask on the first try. Try a new one each week and pay attention to the results. Which asks lead to questions after the meeting? Which ones lead to referrals? Keep what works and drop what does not.

As the weather cools and the fall busy season approaches, now is a great time to sharpen your ask so your referral partners know exactly how to help you heading into the end of the year.

Want to practice your ask in a friendly room? Visit BNI A1 Networkers any Thursday at 7:00 AM at Brothers Family Restaurant in Peoria. Plan your visit.